After last week’s hiatus the plan was to have something new to show you this week – however, fate and a long bought of tiredness thought otherwise. Since I feel I cannot leave you wanting yet another week, I will instead post something old:
Back in February, this fellow started out as a quick doodle while I was suffering from lack of inspiration for what I should’ve been doing, and was inspired by a dear elephant-loving friend of mine. Black marker and coloured pencils.
Bonus post this weekend: me being featured on writer Jane Dougherty’s blog!
This is getting embarrassing, Dear Reader – once again I have no work in progress from this week to show you. My day job and my friends have kept me away from both keyboard and pencils. I have produced words, though – about 2,000 of them, on the personal project I’ve been struggling with – but they are all in long hand tucked away in a notebook, and not ready for prying eyes.
Hopefully, what I’ve lost in progress on my visual arts I have gained in new connections and potential new clients. Time will tell.
In lieu of something new to show, I will post something old. This is a quick pencil sketch I made (but never finished) some four-five years ago. It is of my girlfriend at the time – the original is about 2-3 inches tall, quickly scribbled down while on a bus.
Steampunk sketch
So, Dear Reader – this week I actually do have a weekly sketch for you.
I began drawing this lady a couple of weeks ago, but I got stuck deciding what I wanted her to wear and then other things got in the way. Today I picked her up again and this is what I ended up with.
With a bit of luck and a bit more of actual work she will be joined by other characters in similar style in the future.
Take care, and I hope you have a great week!
“Other people have left the room, but rarely has the room been left so empty. “
―Frank Menser, on the death of Robin Williams
Robin Williams Portrait
I never had any plans of creating this portrait – it had never occurred to me that Robin Williams may have been part in shaping who I am. Silly me.
My first memory of him is from the sitcom Mork & Mindy. I must’ve been around 9 when I saw it and it definitely left an impact. To this day I can remember scenes from several episodes, storylines, and a surprising amount of detail from the show even though I haven’t seen it in at least 25 years. Possibly more. After that he appeared in several movies I found entertaining but not remarkable – Popeye, Moscow on the Hudson, Baron Münchausen. It wasn’t until I saw him in Good Morning, Vietnam that I really started to appreciate him, I think. As I grew older, and I saw Dead Poets Society – an amazing film that remains one of my favorite movies – The World According to Garp, The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Hamlet, Insomnia, One Hour Photo, etc, etc and I realized that his genius shone brightest in his serious moments.
The news of his death reached me at a time when I was more vulnerable than usual, but it still surprised me how affected I was by it. As the news spread across the internet I was left in awe of how many people felt so strongly about him, and I think nothing sums up the loss as beautifully as the quote at the top of this post – words uttered by a friend of a friend. Without a doubt he was one of our most beloved actors and comedians.
Robin Williams was an expert at portraying haunted, wounded men – no doubt because he was one himself. He was fairly open about his struggle with addiction and depression. I chose to portray him this way – in contemplation, with the Red Knight behind him – because he urged us to remember both the good and the bad when a person dies, to not mythologize them. He fought against his inner demons all his life, bringing joy and happiness to so many people. In the end he may have lost the fight, but he fought well and he fought hard. That’s the way I want to remember him – as a man who stood up against his dark knight, persevering and rising to greatness in spite of it.
Mr Williams, your table is ready.
Dear Reader, I am afraid I owe you an apology.
I was supposed to have a sketch to show you this week, but between the heat, my back acting up, and a severe case of procrastination I have more work to do before I’m ready to show it to anyone. Instead I will post this picture of a recent wall painting I did with a dear friend of mine in her new apartment:
The overall design is based on a sketch I did which we then worked out the details on together. The painting itself is a collaboration, with her painting the stem and leaves and me painting all but three of the flowers. It took us seven hours from first to last brush stroke, but it was well-worth it!
“Don’t compromise yourself – you’re all you have.”
―John Grisham
Yes, you heard me right, Dear Reader – I do not want you to like me!
That’s not why I’m here, not why I am doing what I do. It’s not why any of us are here, really. To be liked. Don’t get me wrong – I have a need for affirmation just like anyone does. But being liked is not the important thing. Being true to myself is.
There’s little to be gained in trying to be what other people want you to be; no real reward from doing what other people think you should do. Striving to be liked will probably get us friends, some benefits, maybe even a lot of good things – but we will be empty, worn out, thin. Like butter scraped over too much bread. If we choose that path, we will leave ourselves by the wayside and arrive as less than we were to begin with. Saint Augustine, 5th century Bishop of Hippo and Christian philosopher, once said “Attract them by the way you live.” That sentence holds a lot of truth for me. People will largely ignore what we say if our words do not match our actions. The way we live acts as an example for everyone we meet, for better or for worse – the people we want to be are largely irrelevant, except as a standard and a goal for ourselves. Other people rarely care about that, though.
Instead of striving to be liked, accepted, welcomed, I feel we should strive to be better versions of ourselves. We need to take others into account, of course – a society where everyone thinks only of themselves is doomed. No one likes a selfish bastard. We only have this lifetime to build our story and our reputation in the world – when we are gone from here, our actions and personality will live on in the memories of others. Or be forgotten by them.
I’m reminded suddenly of a poem by one of my favorite poets, Lord Byron – written in 1803 when he was only fifteen:
A Fragment
When, to their airy hall, my father’s voice
Shall call my spirit, joyful in their choice;
When, poised upon the gale, my form shall ride,
Or, dark in mist, descend the mountains side;
Oh! may my shade behold no sculptured urns,
To mark the spot where earth to earth returns!
No lengthen’d scroll, no praise-encumber’d stone;
My epitaph shall be my name alone:
If that with honour fail to crown my clay,
Oh! may no other fame my deeds repay!
That, only that, shall single out the spot;
By that remember’d, or with that forgot.
I will not strive to be liked – instead, I will strive to be the best Me that I can (and probably fail by far in reaching that ideal – I’m only human, after all). I will try to let my actions and my work speak for me and give testament to the kind of person I am. Show, don’t tell, as the old writer’s adage says.
I do not want you to like me, but I hope you will. More importantly I hope you will like what I do. Or that I will at least affect you in a positive way.
“I must lose myself in action lest I wither in despair.”
—Lord Tennyson
So here we are again, Dear Reader – another week, another post. Once again life has kept me occupied enough to neglect the things I do not have to do. Mostly, the distracting tasks have been things like money making and friend tending, so I’m inclined to say I haven’t actually wasted much time. That does not change the fact that I haven’t accomplished what I felt I should. We are most likely to complete tasks that are expected of us – I’ve spoken before of the dual edged sword of deadlines – and so I thought it high time that I bind myself to Your expectations by outlining my goals here, in public, to You.
When I began updating this blog on a regular basis, my goal was a modest weekly post on what was going on with me and my creations. Back then, I did not really have any readers at all (nor did I really expect them). Needless to say, things have changed. To keep your interest as well as my own – and as a stepping stone to finally catching that elusive beast I call Routine – I aim to uphold a loose goal of 3 posts a week:
In addition to this attempt of creating some predictability and pattern to what you can expect from me on here, I will also try to maintain monthly goals for my creative endeavors. Each calendar month, I aim to write a minimum of one short story (or the equivalent for a larger project) as well as produce one piece of art (drawing, painting, sculpture or the like). Meanwhile, I will also try to make this site grow by adding more content.
So there you have it! I have now bound myself to You, Dear Reader, by my word and on my honour! Please use Your new-found power over me in a kind manner…
I’m not usually one to comment on sports, but I couldn’t let tonight’s performance go unslighted…
Brazil vs Germany
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