”I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
—C. G. Jung
Forgive me for not writing for so long, Dear Reader.
Once again, I have had a busy couple of weeks where I’ve gotten less done than I would have wanted. A lot of the time has been spent with various friends, who in their own ways have helped light candles to chase away my inner darkness. I know some of you have been worried, but rest assured that I am on my way up. There have been a lot of things for me to cope with during the past two years, things I am still working my way through. I’m getting there, finally.
But changing one’s life is not always easy.
Every turn, every adjustment, every sacrifice comes at a price. Sometimes we resist the changes even though we know with complete certainty that they are for the better. Tooth and nail, we fight to keep our demons safely locked away inside of us, protecting them against those angels who want to bring light and peace into our lives. Getting rid of the bad things in our lives can be so much more difficult than we expect – so instead, we push away whatever blessings come our way.
Sometimes we cling to the pain and suffering because it is familiar; a well-known part of our identity.
In my case, working through these changes has been a real struggle. And even though my creativity has blossomed during these two years, my creative pursuits have been left suffering. There’s been so many missed opportunities and failed chances that I don’t want to think about it. My list of projects is growing at a rate I can’t keep up with, and I find myself focusing only on that which helps me escape, ignoring what I should be doing unless there is sufficient outside pressure. The heap of work I have ahead of me seems insurmountable, and instead of taking it one piece at a time I stand incapacitated and seemingly unmoving before it.
Yet when I look back I’m surprised at how far I have come.
There’s a long way for me to go still, both personally and creatively – a lot of work I need to get through – and new challenges appear before me daily it seems. But I’m getting there. I’m working through it.
Life goes forward even when we think we’re standing still.