“You gave your life to become the person you are right now. Was it worth it?”
―Richard Bach
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”
—Muhammad Ali
“It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.”
―Oscar Levant
“I bear the wounds of all the battles I avoided.”
—Fernando Pessoa
Why is it that pain can trigger creativity?
The past week I have been the perfect example of the tortured artist, spending my days in splendid isolation and spitting out art and sketches at an unprecedented rate. The past month I’ve done something like two dozen drawings and paintings, plus a bunch of sketches – half of them in the last week alone. Not everything is worth showing, of course, but all in all I’m quite pleased. Plus, the process has taught me things and sparked ideas that I will keep working on.
Isolation and hurt can lead to productivity, it seems.
Perhaps it is more the quiet than anything else – the shutting out of distractions and considerations. When we turn our gaze inward and look away from the world, we can finally see things with our mind instead of our eyes. Truths that otherwise would have been lost in the buzzing of everyday life.
Also – in spite of me keeping myself largely isolated – several queries have trickled in for the visual side of my art, and a whole lot of appreciation.
Which is nice.
I just hope I can keep this energy going and keep producing. Maybe not at the rate of several drawings per day, put hopefully several per week. And maybe I can finally get going on some of my stories as well – there are several things wanting my attention, from new stories to rewrites to last edits.
With a bit of effort, maybe I can even catch up to my goals for this year…
“A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.”
—C. G. Jung
Dear Reader, what a week…
I’ve done no less than four drawings/sketches, partied twice, lost a tooth, started a new story and I managed to hurt a very dear friend of mine. I’ve spent a week in pain – first from a bad tooth ache, and now from having had said tooth pulled.
Things could’ve been smoother.
But, at least my creativity is back – even if I’ve only managed to produce pretty rough things so far. The story seed has potential, though – a tale of friendship, love, youth and life’s disappointments and pleasures. Or something to that effect, we’ll see when I get it all down.
My recommendations this week are all works of art that hold special meaning to me – things which highlight the complexity of life and do not hesitate to show both the beauty and the ugliness of life.
Life is never all bad or all good.
Even at our very best or our very worst, there’s still something present in our lives that tries to balance things out. Maybe not much, but there’s always something. All we can do is cling to he good while we tackle the bad, and hope that we come out on top.
“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.”
-Bob Marley
This week I’m missing in action, celebrating birthdays and slow days and long nights.
Be well, Dear Reader!
”Art is confession; art is the secret told. But art is not only the desire to tell one’s secret; it is the desire to tell it and hide it at the same time.”
—Thornton Wilder
…and here it is, Dear Reader, my secret told and hidden:
The Fall
It’s just a quick sketch; a sloppy doodle.
Yet it holds among its scribbled lines and smudges the entirety of my being at this present time – several layers of meaning and significance – my soul laid bare on paper and screen for all to see and few to understand. But that’s okay.
During my little mini-vacation from on here last week I had a few personal revelations.
I came face to face with things inside myself and I have since begun to sort through and deal with things in my past and in my present so that I can more accurately plan for the future. Now, if only that was at easy to do as it is to type…but change is rarely easy. Not even when it is sorely needed.
My artistic ambitions for this year and this blog still stand, though.
I will keep making an effort to stick to the word count, image production, and professional goals that I made a month ago – even when it is hard. And it is.
But enough about my personal struggles!
The falling angel above will hopefully mark the transition from the personal to the professional sphere on this page. I’m sure some personal issues will appear – the page is about me, after all – but with a bit of effort I will hopefully be able to provide more interesting topics as well.
So, until next week – take care, Dear Reader!
Nearly two years after her death, another unreleased Mindy McCready song has surfaced – this beautiful rendition of Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now:
BOTH SIDES NOW
Lyrics and Music by Joni Mitchell
Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere,
I’ve looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun,
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done,
But clouds got in my way.
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s cloud’s illusions that I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels,
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real,
I’ve looked at love that way.
But now it’s just another show,
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know,
Don’t give yourself away.
I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions that I recall
I really don’t know love at all
Really don’t know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I’ve looked at life that way.
But now old friends they’re acting strange,
They shake their heads, they tell me that I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living every day.
I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions that I recall
I really don’t know life, really don’t know life at all
Really don’t know life at all…
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two people.”
—Aristotle
Friendships – where would we be without them?
Dear Reader, I am writing this not from my usual desk but from the house of a good friend – one who has featured here on my page several times. Lately, there’s been a lot going on with me and even more going on with those close to me. Things are changing. Without going into specifics, so far this year there have been transitions, deaths, relocations, family issues, misunderstandings and breakdowns going on all around me. This week, it all kind of caught up with me and I crashed.
So here I am, having been offered shelter and care at a friend’s for a few days.
Staying with her has been a most welcome break from my normal routine – life has slowed down and I’m getting more done, focusing. Most of all it has just been good having company and being cared for. It does feel a bit strange, though. Usually I’m the one taking care of others, not being taken care of, but it’s nice being on the other side of it.
Friends are so much more than just support when we are down, though.
They are company and kinship and belonging, an extended family making life into something worth living. You can get by with only a few close friends, of course – sometimes just one well-chosen friend may be more valuable than scores of more superficial acquaintances.
Friendship is one of the most valuable things you can have. Treasure it.
Photo & Tattoos by Ninni Norrmosse
“With every book you buy, you should buy the time to read it.”
—Karl Lagerfeld
Hello Dear Reader – the past week has been more about organizing things, catching up with myself and planning for the future than actually getting anything done. So naturally – as expected – I’m terribly behind on my promised word count. Although, I have started writing two new stories, so I guess that’s something.
Life keeps throwing me curve balls, keeping me on my toes and rearranging my social circles – but it keeps things interesting.
In addition to my previous pledge in regard to creating things, I have also taken on the Popsugar 2015 Reading Challenge (though heaven only knows how I will find the time for that on top of everything else!):
In short, I am setting myself up for failure in multiple areas of my life before year’s end! But hey, the more ambitious I am the more I’ll get done, right?
…right?
“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want and all that is left is compromise.”
—Anaïs Nin
And so another year has come to greet us, Dear Reader.
Two years ago I made the decision to devote more time to my art – words as well as images – and try to make some form of living off of it. Then life happened. The struggle to live up to my own expectations and goals repeatedly took the back seat to balancing the rest of my life. Things have been rough and chaotic; my life has changed in ways I never expected and wasn’t prepared for, and as a result I have neglected my creative pursuits. But no more.
Things are about to change.
There’s little point in regretting the past or feeling bad about opportunities I did not take. The past is gone and it has made us who we are today, after all. But it is never too late to change. I’m not usually one for New Year’s resolutions – any day is a good day to start changing for the better. But considering that today is already the 7th of January I guess these aren’t really New Year’s resolutions anyway.
So, Dear Reader, my resolutions for this year are as follows:
– I will make it my goal to write a minimum of 300 words a day, on average.
– I will make it my goal to produce a minimum of one piece of art a week, on average.
– I will make it my goal to finish a minimum of one project a month, professionally.
On the chance that I can live up to this schedule, I should end the year with 12 professional projects, 52 new pieces of art, and nearly 100,000 words worth of story. I shall count this week as the starting point, counting from January 4th to January 4th 2016.
Now, let’s hope that this year is more cooperative than its predecessor!